Forgive me
by Daytime Stars
Summary: Some things are said in the middle of the night, feelings may be hurt, anger is assumed. Lenalee can't bring herself to make a promise and Allen can't lose her. AllenxLenalee Reviews would be awesome!


This fic was inspired by the song 'Forgive me' by Evanescence and is named for it. As soon as I heard the song I was like 'Oh my god! Allen and Lenalee!' and started writing this.

I don't own D.Gray-man, nor will I ever

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I stared dumbfounded as I watched silently as she left me behind, I couldn't tell whether she was angry or not at what I'd said to her, what I'd asked of her. It was hard to tell with Lenalee, she could be hurting so much, or be so angry she couldn't stand it, but she would never show it, not to anyone, not until it was too much for her to bear. It was only on occasion that she would show her pain to me.

Like the time at the train station, when she had been angry with me for momentarily forgetting about our friendship and raising my voice to her in Road's room, when I had jumped right into that blast from the Akuma. She had been angry with me all that time and I didn't notice until I apologized to her, she'd been hurting about me forgetting that we were friends and I hadn't noticed…just like then, right now I couldn't tell if she was angry or not.

.:.:.:.:.:.

I felt horrible as I trudged back towards the camp, he'd really been brave enough say that to me and all I could do was stand and run, I wasn't brave enough to answer him. I felt awful for just leaving him there, I knew I'd hurt him after he'd said that to me, I'd hurt Allen and it hurt me so because he was so important to me. When he'd hugged me and said those simple words to me 'I love you, Lenalee...please promise me you won't leave me alone.' And I had done just that, I had left him alone because those words that he'd spoken, the way he had spoken I knew that it was the pure truth, there was no doubt in his tone or in his eyes.

I couldn't make a promise like that; I hadn't been able to bring myself to say the same three words that had begun his sentence back to him or to confirm that I wouldn't leave him. Both of us knew that he wouldn't always be around to protect me, and if an enemy that was too strong came along when I wasn't with him, then…then that promise would be broken easily with just that. There was no way I could make a promise like that, not until this whole war was over and we were free from the Millennium Earl. I reached the camp and curled up in a ball underneath my blanket I tried to banish what he might think of me now from my mind but I failed.

:.:.:.:.:

She was different in the morning, she was withdrawn and though she tried to give me a smile, like what I'd confessed last night hadn't happened, she failed at it. I could see what I'd said had upset her and made her miserable; maybe I'd even caused the bags under her eyes. She couldn't even look at me the same way, not after that. I thought briefly of apologizing to her and asking her to forget the whole thing. Then I realized that it wouldn't change the way that I felt about her, it also wouldn't change that I had said it, once something like that is said, it isn't easily forgotten.

I knew I was supposed to be a gentleman, I was supposed to wait for her feelings to come through, to surface and then I had to choose whether to accept her feelings. I wasn't supposed to dump that decision on her; I wasn't supposed to make her choose between having me as a friend or a lover, because I knew that it had to be one or the other, sure we could be lovers and still be friends but if our relationship failed, so did our friendship. "Lena-" I started but stopped, she had gotten up from her kneeling position as soon as I'd started her name. She was walking off down the road he head bowed, whether it be in anger bubbling beneath the surface, I still couldn't tell.

I got up and started to follow her down the street, intending to apologize for what I did and said to her.

.:.:.:.:.

I tried to act normal all through the morning while we were eating and packing up the camp, but I just couldn't bring myself to look at him the way I used to. Now, every time I looked into those pretty grey eyes of his, I see the life that we could have shared reflected in them, mocking me. If we had been _normal_ people living a _normal_ life, where we didn't have to worry about things like the Millennium Earl or Akuma. If that had been our life, I would have accepted his feelings and promised I would never ever leave him alone immediately.

I wouldn't have hesitated the way I did, I wouldn't have run off the way I did. I could tell he was worried about me, worried that he had done something wrong and angered me; I hadn't said a word to him since the night before so he had every reason to believe that I was angry. I dearly wanted to reach out and hold him, to hold my Allen and tell him that it would be alright, that I wasn't angry with him at all. He started to say something too me, but I still couldn't bring myself to look at him, or even listen to what he was about to say.

He was probably going to apologize for it, for everything he'd done the night before, everything he'd said, he was going to say that he didn't really mean what he said, it was just spur of the moment. I couldn't listen to that so I just got up and left, without a word because I knew that I would regret whatever I said later, because I knew I wouldn't be able to stop myself from saying those three little words when he started to apologize for them. If I said that, not only would it be breaking all the rules, it would probably ruin our friendship if the relationship should fail.

I heard him following me, and I turned I needed to let him know that I wasn't angry, that I was happy he felt that was but it couldn't work, not when we had so much to lose. I heard his shout only moments before I felt the impact at my waist and felt my breath rush out of my lungs as I hit the ground beside the road. I sat up and saw a cart racing away and Allen lying on the ground, bleeding from a wound to his head and another on his shoulder.

:.:.:.:.:

I followed her, she wasn't acting as if she were angry, and she didn't turn to shout at me to stop following her so I assumed she either didn't notice or didn't care. She was beautiful, even from behind; I loved every part of her. Her kind smile was the first one I saw when I got to the Black Order, her eyes they were always so happy and warm-when she wasn't mad at me that is- her voice so melodic when she said my name, her hair blowing like silk there in the wind, her skin, pale and soft as velvet. I snapped out of my thoughts of her when I heard the sound of a cart going faster than it should have been. I saw it before she did; she turned to say something just as it came over the hill.

"LENALEE!" I shouted racing forward and managing to throw myself at her waist getting her out of the way of the cart that surely would have ended her life. I managed to get myself out of the way before I got trampled, but not before I felt something strike my shoulder and then my forehead, but that didn't matter to me, all that mattered was that she was safe and unharmed. As she called my name I turned my head to look at her "Are you okay Lenalee? That…that cart didn't hit you did it?" I asked, giving her a smile as she fell to her knees next to me, I could see her tears even though she was trying to hide them by giving an obviously forced laugh and saying something that was probably meant to be a joke, but didn't quite pass that mark.

She gently lifted my head into her soft lap, giving up on hiding her tears they fell onto my face, I reached up and gently brushed them away, my vision was starting to fade so it was clumsier than it would have been otherwise. She seized my hand and held onto it with both her hands; I could barely hear what she was saying. And then all sound was gone, the last sight I saw was her face, stained with tears as she spoke those words, the ones she wasn't able to say the night before. I gave her another smile and looked straight into the amethyst depths of her eyes and squeezed her hand lightly to show that I'd understood before everything faded to black.

.:.:.:.:.

"Allen-kun!" I cried rushing over to him I didn't care if my breath had returned all that mattered in this moment was him, tears rushed to my eyes. As soon as I got there I knelt beside him, the first thing he asked was if I was alright. I gave a faint humorless laugh "Typical Allen-kun, always thinking of others when you're the one who's hurt…you should think of you more often…" I was trying to make a joke, but we both knew that it didn't work. I had made that pitiful less-than-a-joke to try and hide the tears, it didn't work.

I reached out and took hold of both sides of his face, lifting his head into my lap. "Allen-kun…I…I…" I looked down into his eyes, my tears splashing onto his face as I spoke. His eyes, his beautiful shining silver-grey eyes, were starting to cloud over I knew that if I didn't get him to a hospital to get the bleeding stopped he wouldn't last too much longer. "Allen-kun, I love you too…I love you…please…please forgive me, I'm sorry I couldn't say it…I'm so sorry…" I was sobbing now, as he smiled looking into my eyes and squeezed my hand, his eyes closed and his face went blank. "Allen-kun…please, please don't die on me…please…I promise I won't ever leave you if you just stay with me now…" I sobbed bending over to kiss his forehead, praying that he wouldn't leave me.

:.:.:.:.:

I woke up to a bright white room; my hand immediately went to my forehead where I felt the stitches. I attempted to sit up in what was assumed to be a hospital bed but failed as my shoulder throbbed painfully. I settled back onto the pillows and decided that I could live with just looking around without sitting up. To my left there was a window that had an excellent view of a lake, and when I looked to my right, I saw Lenalee's sleeping face on the bed beside me; she was in a chair that was pulled up close to the bed. I smiled and reached up to brush a lock of hair out of her face, she was pale and hadn't bothered to tie it up in her usual pigtails. I wondered vaguely how long I had been asleep and looked over to the door where a doctor was just coming; there was nobody else in the room so I assumed he was there for me.

"Ah, so my patient is finally awake!" he said with a smile then looked to Lenalee. "She's a committed one, she refused to leave your side since she got you here over a week and a half ago, and I let her stay because she seemed so desperate to be sure you were okay, she blamed herself for it. But if it weren't for her, you wouldn't be alive right now, not matter what the cause of the accident was. You're lucky to have her." He said before checking my pulse and such then nodding and leaving the room. I looked over to Lenalee a little surprised until the memories of the last image before I fell out of consciousness came back; it was her saying that she loved me and asking me to forgive her. I smiled at the memory, so she hadn't been angry with me after all.

"Lenalee…thank you…we'll make this work, I promise. I love you" I said bending over in the least painful way and kissing her forehead. She smiled slightly in her sleep "I love you too Allen-kun…" she mumbled, her eyes opening she moved her head up slightly so that she could kiss my lips lightly; I complied and returned the kiss, breaking off after a second to smile at her, a gesture that she returned.

I knew now that I hadn't hurt her and no matter what I did she would always forgive me. I knew that she loved me as much as I loved her, as a best friend and more, even if this relationship didn't work out, she was a true friend to me and I was positive we could go back to being that.

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And there it is! R&R! I hope it's as good as I think it is…I had to listen to 'Forgive me' at least twelve times before I could think of how to end it. This is only my second AllenxLenalee fiction…please be nice! Eventually, if I find another song that suits them, there _could _be a second chapter to this.


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